


long term

by janigkale



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: College, Crushes, Feelings Realization, M/M, Requited Unrequited Love, angst... sort of?, crappy dorms, high to college, michael is a hacker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 10:25:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janigkale/pseuds/janigkale
Summary: Jeremy Heere somewhere along the way, has fallen utterly for Michael Mell.Even if it takes him fourteen years. That's okay, though.





	long term

They meet when they're five. It's simple, really. Jeremy’s been sitting by himself for how long, then this other kid comes over and asks if he likes Pokémon. He’s saying yes, and the other kid grins at him, glasses lopsided, missing a few teeth. He takes his hand and that's when he learns the other kid’s name is Michael.

They're eleven when the cliques form. They've always been somewhat odd, but the other kids have always talked to them. Now, though, they've been demoted to the place where all they have is each other. Michael doesn't care- he never cares. He just does his math problems, drinks Sprite, smokes joints, play video games on repeat. Jeremy wishes, though when he's in school, and the others snipe at him. Just wishes.

The SQUIP invades Jeremy’s mind  when he's seventeen. He knew it was an impaired decision, but it had worth it at first. The popular kids were flying to him like bees to honey. But now it taunts him, silver tongued, telling him he's absolutely worthless, pathetic. He leaves Michael alone at some point, calls him a _loser_ and disintegrates the one good relationship he's got. And even though the incident will be a permanent break in their friendship, they will still be Michael and Jeremy. And somehow, Jeremy finds it better than before.

They go to college in New York  when they're eighteen because they agree that they’ve had enough New Jersey for a lifetime. Jeremy goes to NYU, Michael to Columbia. Jeremy always knew Michael would go somewhere, do something- he’d win Hackathon after  Hackathon, had a gift for math that had saved him so many times. They don’t stay in the same dorm, but the conversations they have extend far into the night, to the point where Jeremy’s roommate locked him out a few nights. They see each other every weekend, and they become a treasure trove of memories of harsh lighting and video games.

Somewhere during that first year of college, Michael shyly admits over pizza that his coding partner has set him up with a date. It's told almost cautiously, tittering between shy and silent, and Jeremy knows he would be congratulating him, or some encouraging, bit all he hears is a buzz in the background. His cognizance has been eliminated and all he can feel is something roiling within him. When Michael looks at him, worried, Jeremy manages to choke something legible out, but it is an indistinguishable mess of words, a misunderstanding. And then Michael smiles, sipping on Sprite, and Jeremy can see every fleck of golden breaking the rich coffee brown.

When he comes to his room that night, he looks in the mirror as he's wiping his face. And somehow, the knot of emotion manifests and he's left on the floor, sobbing against his crappy bathroom wall.      

The date didn't go well.

Michael was ignored the entire time by the other guy, and Jeremy couldn't help but wonder how the hell anyone could ignore Michael Mell, beautiful, _electric_ , Michael.

    

 

It is the last day of their first year in college.

Jeremy is leaving, and he sees Michael grinning ear to ear, his tan skin golden in the fresh light. He smiles back, the infection of giddiness forever a home, and Michael meets him halfway, and lifts him up off the ground. He's laughing and it's like a wave crashing into the smooth sandstone, splashing on a weathered pier. And he's so very warm, and smells like pine and cinnamon, and what Jeremy could only describe as _home._ And Michael crushes their foreheads together, still laughing, and something in Jeremy’s heart twists faster, faster until it's a tornado .

They move in a crappy studio when they're in their second year. It's a minuscule place, barely enough space but they make it work. The two of them still play constantly, living off of soda and junk food. It probably is flawed in every way, but there is perfection in every imperfection. There is perfection when Michael’s eyes catch the morning sunlight and burst into bronze for a moment or when they just fall asleep on each other, and Jeremy wakes up to an intoxicating warmth.

It is all too much.

They're playing Apocalypse of the Damned one night, and they finish the entire game again. Michael looks at him, his dimples sinking into his cheeks, hair in disarray. He hasn't got his glasses on- who knew where they were? And Jeremy really, truly looks at him, sees the lines, and the smiles, and the dips, and lets that tornado encompass him. And it all makes sense. He leans in, says they finished the game. Michael agrees. And somehow, Jeremy's kissing him, warm and comforting. He closes his eyes, breathes softly when Michael’s arms enclose him, anchoring him.

     _And then Jeremy is hit by the metaphorical bus._

He pulls back. And Michael is staring at him with something like regret, bitterness, and begins to pull away, curses at himself with a voice of tears. And then Jeremy’s mind is screeching, and suddenly, it's not just an accident. He leans in, breathing directly over Michael’s lips, and touches his face. Then, he leans in, his lips are taken in, and he gasps. He's carding his hand in Michael’s dark hair, softer than a pillow, and _this, oh my gosh, this is_ **_happening._ ** And they're just there, in a dimly lit room and it feels like nothing could beat this.

  
And somewhere at the back of his mind, he wonders how he never realized this before.

   

A while later,  they're on the couch, sinking into each other, and Michael’s just tracing his shoulder. They don't say anything after what happened. They don't need to.

And the next day, it happens again, and the day after, and the day after and the day after.

And Jeremy will smile into every one, as the tornado in his heart subsides to the quiet lull of contentment.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully more fics will arise. Thanks for reading!


End file.
